Conciliation
by Fiercest
Summary: A thousand nights he spent wandering. He came home only thrice. Zuko-introspect.


**A/N: For Nezz, whose day this will make.**

**As a standard disclaimer; it's all Alli's fault. She apparently just 'has that effect' on bunnies and is a **_**Plot Pimp**_**.**

**And last but not least, thank you Pip. For choosing an ending.**

Conciliation

xXx

_A thousand nights he spent wandering. And came home only thrice._

xXx

Zuko was once a prince.

Hard to believe that the boy with the scarred face and eyes that could not see was once a part of something bigger than petty human emotions such as anger and heartbreak.

It's hard to believe that the man with the soft palms and calloused knuckles was once a coward instead of a willful servant to causality.

Zuko, before he was a leader, was just a little boy wearing boots a size or two too big, carrying a knife he was not entirely sure how to use and playing in the shade of his father's shadow, mimicking his actions and aspirations as if he were playing House. He pretended to lead while he only ever trailed behind.

Once upon a time, a long time ago before morals became something more than ambiguous concept only existing in fairy tales, he was exiled from the only home he ever knew. This was before morals became something less than things like abstract and the _unattainable_.

Alone he wandered, because he was on a mission. He was a boy, not yet inaugurated into the throes of passion and pain that adulthood held in staples. He did not realize that every action he took and every order he called out, were tempered by his uncle's soft spoken conciliating voice of reason. He did not know it then, and that was probably best.

After dishonor and exile, excommunication and a seizing of his birthright he returns home one day, to the palace.

It is Mai and Ty Lee who see him first. They do not recognize him at first.

[He takes a moment to wonder if they don't recognize him because of the time that has elapsed between their last meeting, whether it is because he has grown, because of the scar, or because of the way his face has changed beyond recognition in a very different way than appearance. He wonders if it's his anger that the two girls don't recognize.]

It's a mere moment before Azula's call rises above the cacophony of a busy palace. She stops when she sees him.

[Not in surprise, although that would satisfy some need deep inside him that claws at his insides and grasps his spine with cold fingers-]

But as if to contemplate what has become of the boy she had once shared all that she had with; her space, her thoughts, her feelings and especially her anger. They shared flesh, blood and nativity. They shared no more than that anymore it seems.

"I will meet you two later," Mai and Ty Lee recognize this as a dismissal and do as the princess says. To Zuko she says, with not even the slightest quirk of lips, "Get out." She steps closer, "before father sees you and paints the walls with your blood." She pushes him back the way he came with a desperate shove.

[He didn't know it then, but those final moments in which she pushed, shoved, berated and abused him with her words, her last vestiges of love reared up inside her and an instinct that only a sister can feet awakened. Azula protected her brother for the last time that day.]

Zuko leaves right then, with a feeling at the pit of his stomach that is something less than anger.

xXx

The next time he returned home his sister's arm was slung around his shoulders in a grip so vice-like, he wondered if he would bruise. Her smile had less of its usual bite and venom. He wondered if finally his travels had reached conclusion; if his honor had finally been restored to what a _man_ of his status deserved.

Zuko had no way of knowing that his journeys were only just beginning.

His return to the palace in the center of the Fire Nation was celebrated, he found himself once again revered as royal. He became the boy who had never been disgraced.

[And consequently had lived under a father's thumb that suffocated, instead of in the hands of an uncle, whose palms were as soft as his words and his words confusing and wise. This Zuko had never lived his own life, although some could argue that he never had anyway.]

There are many reasons that his mind changes. Perhaps it's the conviction in the words of a boy who once stood for everything that Zuko could not be because of the scar that nearly blinded him [figuratively and otherwise]. Perhaps it is the fierceness with which his flames are doused with water. Perhaps it is the willingness of this insignificant, tiny group of infidels who dare to stand against what he has been raised to be, to die for what they believe it right and true.

It is more likely, however, that the man inside him that detests the boy he has become, feels guilt. And pain.

Perhaps it is because the conciliatory words of an old man didn't fall on deaf ears after all.

Whatever the truth may be, Zuko's home is left in his wake as he, once again resumes his quest of following the avatar.

xXx

Zuko comes home for the third and final time, in increments.

He does not arrive all at once in a revelation and a sweeping feeling of glory. He is not that sort of man. But he is a man now, so there's that.

Zuko, in a way, is dragged home kicking, screaming and cursing.

In other ways, Zuko fought long and hard in an unrelenting torrent of pushing and perseverance. He moved mountains in his quest to finally arrive.

Zuko was once a prince.

He began his journey as one, and continued to be his own regal, self-righteous self until he just _wasn't_ anymore.

The princely title however, means little to the man anymore. Why should it? In the face of insurmountably stacked odds, Zuko changed, when it came down to it, because he wanted to.

[Zuko returns home exhausted, sweaty and blistered. He has sunburn and bruises everywhere.

"Stop whining," Toph says and punches his arm.

Before he can retaliate in annoyed shouts, Sokka intervenes, "McScarypants, you forgot the waterrr—KYAAAAH." Katara yanked her brother back by the collar and dragged him off to the other side of camp.

"Katara," Aang says tentatively, holding up his hands in a placating gesture, "I think you're really hurting him."

Zuko sighs and rubs his neck in vain, the crick from sleeping on the ground hasn't.

"Hey," Toph calls out to him, as if he were far away, even though he was standing right next to her. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he told her, "I'm great."]


End file.
